OWOH WInner!!

Soooo this was my first year participating in OWOH and I had SUCH a great time!!! It was like my afterwork/nite time relaxation activity to visit everyones' blogs and see what they had created :0) I used the random number generator and came up with lucky winner #99. Her name is Becky and her blog is called "My adventures in Stamping" Congrats Becky!!!!!!

One World One Heart

Hello everyone! I know very little about blogging and always wonder how people find such interesting blogs..sooo I figured this was my chance:0) So I have been thinking for a few days what I wanted for my give away..welll the other nite while I was taking a bubble bath (that's where I do my best thinking) it occurred to me to give away something that sort of reflects something I enjoy. Well something I enjoy is thrift store shopping! I think it's exciting..you never know what you might find in there. And I really love finding old things in there to repurpose...you know, change their use or alter their appearance to make them look fun! And I love the idea of reusing something old and making it look new and trendy to suit your home :0) My friend Robbin and I really love this:0) In fact we have been doing quite a bit of repurposing of old lamps recently and its really fun. So anyway..here is what I'm giving away...a box full of fun things that I have found at thrift stores that I think have good potential to be repurposed into something cool! Also in the box are some used books I found and thought you would enjoy and the coolest of them all is a bag of crafting supplies...ribbon and such that someone had turned into the thrift store! I thought it was perfect for this give away! So please enter and tell your friends :0) The drawing will be Feb 15 and will be selected randomly.

New Year's Weekend:A Small Break From Work

So this year we were lucky and New Year's Eve/ Day fell right before a weekend, so it made a nice three day weekend for all to enjoy! No big plans here at Casa de Lawhorne. New Year's Eve was very cold and rainy and just seemed a good nite to veg and stay under a warm blanket. I layed in my bed and watched a delightful four hours of My So Called Life on dvd. I really do love this show even though I realize at this point in my life it probably is a bit juvenile. One thing about me though...I dont waiver much in what I like...chances are..if i loved it when I was like 14...I still love it now.

On New Year's day I literally did absolutely nothing. I laid around, watched tv and read my bookclub book, The Help..which I love. We were supposed to have perspective buyers come look at our house that morning, so Travis and I felt like we had to get up early and clean the house from top to bottom.....well they didnt come. So we were both officially tired and basically laid around the rest of the day.

Saturday, I had to take my babies to vet for rabies shots and Delilah needed her T4 blood draw. The pups got soooo excited when we got those leashes out..it was very very funny. They were both very nice at the vet. I love them :0) We ran some more errands...and then made a bad mistake. We went to Walmart...started grocery shopping and then realized...it was the 2nd of the month!! OMG it was crazy in there. I know I waited at that deli for like 25 minutes for some freakin ham! Meanwhile, the lady in front of me is taste testing all the meats!!! Who does that??? Needless to say I was very very tired. That nite we went out to PF CHang's with the Woods. We had so much fun and laughed and laughed and laughed. After a biig dinner we went over to Gordon Biersch to enjoy some free cocktails on a $90 credit that Kelly had! We had so much fun! Im really gonna miss those two.

Today, I felt quite domestic. Did laundry, stripped the bed, cleaned up, and decided to cook a huge pot of Brunswick Stew. I have never done this before, but it turned out quite well. It was so tastey on such a cold nite. Before enjoying the stew, Travis and I went to Kohl's and got some deals. Travis has been telling me to get some skinny jeans for a while, especially since I got new boots for Christmas. I have said noooooooooo so many times...because I just can't imagine squeezing my body in something called "skinny" Well it pretty much went just as I thought. I tried on so many pairs only to realize...these jeans are just hard to fit my body considering the "skinny" part of them are the legs, and my legs are without a doubt, the fattest part of my body...hooo hum.

So tonight, I'm just hanging out, watching some medical show on TLC, watching my babies sleep, reading my book and thinking about finishing one of my lamp projects. One of the big things I wanted to start doing this weekend was packing....well I didnt...not at all. I honestly think I'm stalling because if i start boxing stuff up, my house is going to start looking different...empty. That's gonna be hard for me. I dont handle change well...not at all. Last night I told Travis I am afraid I'm gonna get in the new house and feel like I'm in a hotel and then get homesick. I can visualize myself getting up...standing in the middle of the house in my pjs and saying..."I wanna go home". Oh dear.........

A Year in Review

Soooo my BFF Robbin just posted a year in review and it was very interesting and good so it made me wanna try it too. Also, I think it will kinda help me gain some perspective about what's really going on with my life. Some of these things are gonna seem dumb but they are landmarks to me lol.Sooooo here we go........

Right after Christmas last year Travis and I FINALLY bit the bullet a

nd bou

ght a new piece of furniture..the sofa we have been wanting ever since we first got married. We finally said goodbye to that "purple" Goodwill sofa that I bought for $40 dollars right after we got married. We bought a nice leather sofa, that doesnt look 4th hand and looks nice in our house. We are quite pleased with it..even though the cat....aka dr evil ha

s made some claw marks on it. I know buying a sofa doesnt seem like a h

uge deal..but you'd have to know the lawhorne's to understand...we buy l

ike a piece of furniture every 5 years....in other words it was a big deal. I do admit though..I was kinda sad to see my purple sofa being eaten by the garbage truck :0( To the left is a picture of Travis and Robbin

chilling..she is sitting on my new sofa :0) Im silly, I know!

Soon after buying the new couch, my husband got laid off from his job

of many years. It was a hard hard time in this household. It was especially bad because he h

eard the news the day after returning from a wonderful cruise va

cation with our wonderful friends, Robbin

and Gary. We were so upset, because we would have never taken a big vacation like that if we had known he was about to not have a job. Travis and I were terr

ified

and had fears of not being able to pay our bills..all kinds of craziness. We definitely went through feelings of disbelief, shame, and total and complete FEAR! It wa

s a terrible time, but he went back to work basicall

y prn with no benefits at all, just to get the bills paid. Thankfully after sever

al months of working with no benefits, he was able to land a new job at Akima Infrastructures. So all was good with that.

I had a very scary encounter with my baby(dog) Delilah this year. She ha

s always been a very happy, healthy girl and more than anything..she LOVES her mommma. Delilah will always come

to me when I call her no matter what..so of course one random morning when I called her to come inside to eat her breakfast and she didn't come right away..it scared me. Her "sister" Lacy of course came running..being the lil piggy she is.

Delilah just looked at me with a VERRRRRY strange look on her face and acted like she was frozen and could barely ma

ke it up the 2 lil steps off the back. As soon as she got inside, she collapsed right there at my feet and was not responding to me. This of course, sent me into hyste

rics...annnnnnnnd to top it off, this was Travis's first day at his

new job 45 minutes away in Hampton at Akima. I literally lost all rational thought and called him ON HIS NEW JOB! hys

terically crying.... My baby could clearly hear what I was saying to her

because her tail would move when I said her name..but she couldnt lift her head. My mom came rushing over and said we needed to get Delilah to the vet ASAP. I cried all the way there. I went in and told the Dr. this was just not norma

l for

her and I wanted her tested for EVERYT

HING.I told the vet I had no way to know if she had gotten into anything, because this dog puts EVERYTHING in her mouth..even though I am very careful to keep th

ings safe f

or her. The vet could not find a

nything wrong with her but I insisted I was not leaving until I knew what wa

s wrong with her. It was until I c

ontinued to tell the dr about her incre

asing weight and not great appetite that they decided to test her thyroid. As it turns out the vet immediately called me and said Delila

h had no thyroid function at all and this verrry likely was her problem. As it turns out..thyroid issu

es in dogs ca

n do veeery weird things to their bodies..such as neurological problems..confusion..fainting etc. Well ever since then, Delilah has been taking her thyroid pill every day and she is doing GREAT. She feels so great, she

thinks she's a puppy annnnnnd her fur has turned soft as cotton! I love her and I'm so glad she's feeling better! That's her laying in the middle of the bed with her mommma, who I think was sick that day. That's her little sister Lacy Loo next to me and their brother "nipster"

Throughout the summer months, Travis and I made many trips down to OBX, Water Country,

and spent many weekends playing in our little pool.I know that thing is silly..the water only comes up to the middle of my thigh LOL, but its fun and it feels so good. My ultimate dream of course is to have a poo

l of my own and have my own

backyard vacation anytime I want it..little did I know..this dream w

as going to come true later in the year...more on that later on :0) This summer, Travis and I joined Golds Gym! We absolutely love it and have started the whole "Body P

ump" program. My friend kelly really got me interested in this and will say..I truely love it! I can see changes in my body and Body Pump makes me feel strong and confident! When I'm done with each class I genuinely feel that I have accomplished something!

Summer is my favorite month and I feel like that's really when I come alive! My BFF Robbin and I made a few trips to OBX, v

egged on the beach and even ate pizza in our bathing suits! I absolutel

y love going down and there and especially spending time with my b

est friend in the whole world. We love to go down

there, eat Little Ceasar's $5 PIzza (LOL) drink wine, and talk about "important" things whilst sitting on the porch LOL This is s

omething I look forward to every yea

r:0) This summer we also made the grand opening of Trader Joe's...LOL we are bi

g nerds but we were s

ooo excited

and took pictures of o

urselves standing in line :0) Travis an

d I of course celebrated our anniversary with our annual trip to OBX and eating

at Th

e Black Pelican which we love...while others I know hate it LOL. Kathryn and Marcos came down to the OBX that we

ekend too to help us celebrate. La

ter in the summer, Kelly and Colin came down for the weekend and w

e had fun playin

g cornhole at Mexicali Brewz.We had some much fun with those crazy Woods' :0)

As the summer came to a close, I was sad as per usual..but we still had things to be excited about :0) We had a great time Halloween nite at Kelly and Colin's annual Halloween Party. Travis made his debut as "big red hand" (not really but we like to tease him) I was a ultra mod, Judy Jetson looking pumpkn girl, Kell

y was a patient with a

big butt LOL, Colin was a gangster and Robbin was a verrrry creepy looking geisha. We had lots of laughs that nite and even had a pinata:0) In that same month, Tra

vis took me on a great trip to Charlottesville to see U2..which is something I have allllways wanted to do. On the way home, he also took me to King Family Vineyard for my birthday! We had a great time on my birthday wee

kend. Robbin was on her fantastic Italian cruise this month and so sadly we missed each other's birthdays :0( Before she left we celebrated, ate cupcakes an

d

exchanged very fun presents. I know she especially enjoyed her "fancy" pj pants and her "Fangtasia" t shirt. Speaking of Fangtasia..this was the year we alll and when I say all..I mean everyone I know was watching True Blood..like whoa! I believe this was the month we took a girly trip to Eastern Shore and saw

wild ponies and took the craziest boat ride of my life. I peed in the tiniest, sill

iest toilet I have ever seen, right in the middle of the boat with a shower curtain type thing wrapped around me! I laughed hysterically and somehow got over my shy bladder! LOL Robbin and Leslie documented this whole episode of cou

rse! We met a very kind man named Capt. Dan who shared with us his grief over the loss of his dog, Madeline. He missed that dog ter

ribly and actually cried a little bit. H

e loved that dog and he was such a nice man. During the early fall months Travis and I attended two weddings of great JMU frie

nds..Kim and Don and of course Laura and Ben. Both weddings in the Northern VA area. We had a great time at both and were glad to be a part of these events! Congrats to both of these happy couples!

As the days grew cold, Robbin and I started back with all of our crafting antics that we so dearly love. Gingerbreads and cupcakes and all the crafty things I love. This year we started a new project involving lamps! We have been so excited about this project and even had a "Lamp Day" at my house! We have been buying up lamps from thrift stores and doing all kinds of wonderful things with these monstrosities LOL! I gave one to my nana this year decorated with gold leaves, butterflies and birds and she absolutely loved it! Can't wait to do some more!

We took our annual trip to NYC ad had a blast as per usual. We saw a great show called Oleanna and waited outside and saw Bill Pullman and Julia Stiles!!!! We are sooo starstruck!!!!!! We did some of everything that weekend! Went to Serendipidy, had frozen hot chocolate, ate Thai food, went to Hell's Kitchen Flea Market, got some great deals in China Town and stayed in the craziest ultra mod presidential themed hot

el in Times Square you have ever seen! It was a great time and I treasure this annual tradition!

Our gingerbreads this year were magnificent. Gary built them for us and we decorated our hearts out! I love gingerbread day soooo much. We also made our annual trip to Kelly's work party in Richmond and shopped all day in Short Pump which I

dearly love. Travis joined the trip this year and had a great time hanging out with Colin and having a midnite snack and Denny's with kelly and Colin as his lovely wife slept soundly in her hotel room bed. Travis came in the room talking like nothing's going on a

s per usual in the middle of the nite LOL. All in all, Robbin declared that Travis doesnt make such a bad roomate LOL. We had been quite concerned about accidental nakedness and noncompliance with the rules of the bathroom whilst sharing a tiny hotel room with two ladies :0) All in all it was a great time! Also in Dec we went to see the Nutcrack

er and all I can say is......that male dancer was quite exposed in the nether regions OMG!!!! It was bad. I wasnt sure if we were at the Nutcracker or some type of weirdo peep show with a Christmas theme. LOL. For Christmas thi

s year, I got Travis a very special present...a kayak. This is something he has been drooling over since we went on a kayak trip with some of his work buddies several months ago.It was a hilarious and kinda scary ordeal getting that 18 foot long joker home..but oh so worth it! Thanks Jesse!!! But really and truely the biggest thing that h

appened during these winter months was buying our new "forever home" in

Kilby Shores!!!! We were so

ooooo sad the day the "For Sale" sign went up in our yard..but the dream of owning this home that was perfect for us kept

us going through some of the really

tough times of this ordeal. Our new home has everything that we need..a great fenced in yard for our babies, lots more room

, more bedrooms for our friends to come and visit, the possibility of a craft room for me:0) a man cave for travis and yes folk

s....a freakin swimming pool! It is truely a dream come true!!!!! So we will be moving into our new home some time mid January

! The whole thing is bitter sweet for me.I love love love the house we live in now. We put so much blood, sweat and tears in here and made everything our own. It will be both the happiest and saddest day ever for me when our ho

use in Kingsboro sells. Its going to be soooo hard for me to say goodbye to it, but I want to believe that buying this new house was a dream come true for us. It was just too good to it get away from us. Travis and I are of course scared to death of currently owning tw

o homes, but are going with our gut and trying to following our heart. This feels right to us and so we have gone on nothing but FAITH that this was the right decision for us.

We felt in our hearts that we had to go for it and everything would work out as it was sup

posed to. If you are reading this...say a prayer for us that we have made the right and responsible decision. We are both very conservative when making big decisions like this...but this time we just went with what felt right.....

After Christmas, Travis and I hosted a Post-Holiday Ugly Sweater Party at our house. We had a great time celebrating with frie

nds and laughing at everyones's ridiculous sweaters. We pulled out Rock Band and laughed at everyones "musical talents" LOLI was ridiculously tired from the holidays but I still treasure each and every time I get to hang out with good friends.Thanks to everyone who came out!

The usual things continued for me this year that I dearly love. I'm still going to dance every Mon nite. This will make my 18th year of dance..and I'm still loving it:0) I look forward to tap, jazz and ballet every week...nerdy as it may be. I continue to hold my secret wish of being a Rockette :0) LOL. Bookclub continues to roll on every month.I believe we are moving into year 3 of this???? I still love it and enjoy the new friends I have made and all the interesting books we read! Some of the highlight books for me this year were A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Help, This Much I KNow is True, Peace Like a River, Sarah's Key..and many more. I look forward to our annual "Dirty Santa" gift exchange this year..I can only hope I get some fancy crotchless underpants this year LOL!

This Thurs is New Year's Eve...we plan on celebrating with our good friends Kelly and Colin who I sadly say we will be saying goodbye to very soon when they move back to Boston. This is going to be one of the sadest goodbyes I will have had to do since leaving some dear friends after graduation at JMU. It is going to be so hard, but I know we can stay friends despite the distance :0(

As the year comes to a close it's nice to reflect back on where we have been and where we are going. In writing this year in review, it has helped me remember some of the great times, and some of the not so great times I have had this year.But more importantly it shows me that no matter what...life goes on and we get through it! It's easy to forget all the little things that happen to make us who we are. One thing I have learned about myself is that I am forever greatful for my wonderful friends who are there for me and keep me on the right path. I love you all and dont know what I would do without you. I am especially thankful for those friends that helped me through a REALLY rough and scary time this year and have helped me get back on the right path and reminded me why its good to me alive.

I also realize in writing this that TRADITION is something that makes me feel comfortable and good. I love those things that I can count on each year. They are often simple things....but they are the things that get me through every day, every month and every year. For those things I will say THANK YOU.

This is How I Feel

I feel like I have spent a very long time, maybe even my whole life tying to get someone..anyone to understand how I feel...but I can't. There comes a time when you just swallow it all up, no matter how much it hurts because you just feel like you can't burden your friends and family with it anymore. You keep it in, put a smile on your face, and try your hardest to go on even though you feel like you are dying from the inside out. This is how i feel.

I guess I have had a lot of time to think and try to sort it all out and make some sort of sense of it all. I guess the most simplistic way to describe my thoughts are that I feel like somehow when I wasn't paying attention or took a second to close my eyes..life left me behind.

I don't know how or when it happened... but it happened. I feel like I waited my whole life to get here..you know all grown up, on my own and able to make my own decisions finally free from the stress and rigidness of my childhood. Everything's great..right? No..not really. It hurts..really bad, like an elephant on my chest and knots in my stomach..always looking for something, anything to make it go away. The only problem is.. I can't find what this thing is. So often, for no real reason I feel like curling up in a ball and crying. I sit around and think so often I just want to call out to my mom, like I'm 3 years old. I don't know at what point in life, someone decided that we no longer needed the comfort and touch of someone who loves us, like a mother. Think about it, when you see a little child who is upset or crying, the first thing they do is run to their mother, who usually wraps them up in a blanket, strokes their hair and tells them it's going to be ok. Yes, I realize I am almost 29 years old, but I still need this..desperately...The only problem is, I didnt grow up in a family that did a whole lot of this. Maybe when I was teeny tiny, so small that I don't remember, but certainly not as a teenager or adult. I think it has made me increasingly more sad when I look around and realize that it didn't have to be this way. Lots of families are different than this and show true affection for each other, even though everyone is all grown up. In my family, I look around and everyone is getting further and further away from me. They have their own lives and enjoy this. No time for the adult child who so often feels like I am 3 years old.

I know it sounds contradictory because so much of my adult life has been about getting away from the judgemental, harsh clutches of my parents, but here I am wishing for affection from them. I think its just natural really,regardless of how you grew up, in the end we all want and need the same basic things..to feel safe, needed, and loved. Maybe some of us need it more than others, however if you've always had this in your life, you may not realize or appreciate it until its gone.

So much of this I don't understand. I have lived my life the best way I know how. Trying to always consider the thoughts and feelings of others, trying to put others before myself. I know I am not perfect, but I sure did try. I realize that I am very sensitive and get my feelings hurt easily, so I have always tried to keep this in perspective when dealing with others. I try hard to include others, make them feel welcome and comfortable and if they have a problem, I certainly will try my hardest to help. I dont always get this in return, but I shouldnt expect others to think or feel the same way I do, but it does still hurt. I definitely can not deny this. I look around at people I know, some I have known a long time, some I have not, but they all do hold importance in my life. Somehow I very much feel like I have been left behind in so many ways. They all have things going on, naturally, with there own lives and I just stand here looking. I am still the same old ME, still needing and wanting the same things. My plea to the world around me is..please don't forget about me..I'm still here.

So here I sit, often feeling like I'm in a black hole that I can't figure out how to get out of. I have tried all my old tricks, to get out of this. Telling myself I am strong, working out HARD until my body is fatigued, but refreshed, doing things that I know I enjoy..so why do I still feel so bad? I think its because, in the end, I still feel like I have no real purpose in this life. Here I am ...being left further and further behind. Nothing to lift this feeling, nothing to make me feel needed. Here I am..please don't forget about me.

Am I Overly Cautious or Just One Big Nerd?

Ok, so I know I am probably MORE cautious/scared of weird little things than the average 28 year old. Since it was brought to my attention today (you know who you are LOL)  I have been thinking of what these little things are. Am I crazy or are they justified....

1.I am scared of airplanes, yes I will fly if I have to, but I do NOT enjoy it and I ALWAYS think I'm going to die

2.I am claustrophobic. I get nervous in elevators, freak out if I'm confined in any way and can't move and have been saying for years that I NEVER will allow anyone to put me in one of those MRI machines...PERIOD

3.I get scared at nite at home alone sometimes, I always think someone is trying to get me

4.I have a minor panic attack when I know for whatever reason I am going to be forced to step on a scale

5.I'm terrified of getting pregnant

6.I will not go in  a store alone at nite..my reasons ARE justified in this one

7.I always have a fear of getting lost and never finding my way again...

8.The few times I have had a pedicure, I worried a lot of getting a weird foot fungus.

9.Doctors scare me, but I'm working through this one

10.Driving at nite scares me. The lights from other cars are very disorienting to me and  I feel like I will run off the road

11. SNAKES SNAKES SNAKES!!!

That's all I can think of at the moment..will add more later.

Birdies

 I like birds..not real birds, but simple drawings of birds. I'm talking about cartoonish pencil drawings, not anything that looks realistic. I really really love them. It all started a few years ago. I saw some drawings of some birds on the Weepies album and fell in love. Soon I was embroidering lil birdies on the pockets of my jeans, drawing lil birds on random things. I eventually got a tattoo of some birds on my hip that I absolutely love. I have a little rubber stamp of a very simple stick figure bird with a nest. Anything I send in the mail to someone, I stamp the little bird on the back like a trademark.I really dig it.

The very ironic thing about this is..I'm not very fond of REAL birds much at all. In fact I'm a little scared of them which makes my love of bird drawings kind of funny. Since my love of birdie things has begun, I have had 3 close encounters with REAL birds that have nearly put me over the edge! LOL A few summers ago I was casually standing in the driveway of someone I didnt know well at all, when all of the sudden I felt a SPLAT on my head. Oh yeah...it absolutely was bird poop in my HAIR and there were seeds!!!!!!!! Suddenly I had absolutely disgust for myself. I think I screamed and ran around not knowing what to do! There were seeds in my hair WAHHHHHHHH! Dumbfounded I ran and cried and got in my car and hated that bird!

This past October Travis and I went on a cruise. We had the most fabulous balcony and had dreamed months prior to the cruise of lounging around our room with the balcony door open listening to the sound of the ocean. We thought about this almost every day leading up to this cruise. So when we were actually there, we did just that. It was after dinner one night, we were just resting before heading out for drinks and fun. We had our balcony door opened...enjoying the breeze! Robbin came across the balcony to visit, tripped over the ledge of the door and yelled...WHAT WAS THAT! Keep in mind I saw NOTHING but screamed hysterically and threw the comforter over my head! Travis was so shocked, he waddled around in the bed, seemingly unable to move....it was a freakin' bird! A bird had flown in my cabin from in the middle of the ocean!!! How did this happen?????? Out of all the cabins, why did this bird pick MINE and where did it come from???? We were literally in the middle of the ocean!!!! Hilarious...so here I am loving lil birdie drawings and terrified of a lil tiny bird who had mistakenly flown into my cabin. So afraid that I apparently had to hide!!!!! LMAO.

Most recently Travis and I were coming  back to my car from inside the Walmart and as we approached my beloved Wendy I noticed a HUGE seagull perched on top...and oh yeah, this bird was not moving. Let me just say, those things are WAY bigger up close than you would think....unless this one was just a monster bird! I was too afraid to get close enough to the car to get in. Travis takes his hat off of his head and swats at the bird! OMG i ran around like a nut screaming and put my jacket up over my head! Travis still laughs at how I ran away and screamed ..ITS GOING TO GET US!!!!!!

So apparently in real life....i am afraid of birds....but love drawings of :0) And thats just how I roll.